Reckless Love

In all honesty, I feel as if I am living in Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet".

I feel whole again, complete. I don't know how else to describe it, I feel.... relief. The problem that has been holding me back from him for so long has been released, he's proved to me in so many ways that he is truly in love with me. And yes, there are many problems that lie ahead of us. I am not going to pretend that this relationship has ever or will ever be easy. But now we know, we know what it's like to live without each other. We both almost felt dead, like a very distinct part of us was missing. And now we're complete. We have problems, like most people in love. However, I feel if we have made it past everything that has happened to us in the past two years of loving each other, we can truly make it through anything.

However, the worst part for me is knowing that my family doesn't approve. I know they love me regardless but I want them to be proud. I want them to understand that living without him is like living without air. Yes, we are young... but he is my best friend, one of the few people that understands me. I just want their approval and their support. I will show them. I will show my whole family the wonderful person I can be... and will be. Honestly, I don't think I could have carried on much longer without him. It's terrifying to think like that, but it is the truth.

From someone on the outside looking in at me these last few weeks, they would see it if they chose to. See the pain and suffering I've been trying to hide. There were many times that I sat smoking a ciggarette with my best friend and I knew she recognized the pain threatening to rise over the surface of me. Neither of us talked about it, because she knew there was nothing to say that could have helped. So for the most part, she kept me busy. I am so thankful that I have a best friend as amazing as her. I don't think I would have made it without her. Thank you.

And then there is the issue of his family hanging over my head. I have always felt horrible for putting pain on them, but I think I am starting to let that guilt go. Because it is not a crime to love someone. I wish I could be a different person in their eyes, but I never will be. I honestly do not think anyone could ever be good enough for their son in their eyes. They are protective and possesive of him. And I know they love him fiercly and that will never change. I also know that he adores them, and it is eating him alive hurting them in this manner... over me. But he claims that I am worth it. He knows that they need to let him live is own life. I just pray that it will work. Because I know that the love, friendship and compassion we share with each other is one of a kind.


"These violent delights have violent ends. And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which as they kiss consume."- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, 2.3

"Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I never saw true beauty till this night."- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, 1.5

"Tis torture, and not mercy. Heaven is here... where Juliet lives, and every cat and dog and little mouse, every unworthy thing, live here in heaven and may look on her,But Romeo may not."- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, 3.3


You know what the difference is between us and Romeo and Juliet is? I won't let us end up being a fucking tragedy.