Honey

"The truth is, I can't afford to have any problems with Camber at the moment. I live to be able to hear her voice and see her face and kiss her lips. She's so incredibly important to me and she probably has no idea. I hope one day she realizes how much I really love her."

No honey, you're the one of value here.

I love you more than you'll ever know.

I'll prove it to you...

Patience

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."

Patience, prayer, and meditation.

Everlasting

Today was an overwhelming day. It was a hard day too.

My grandpa's wife passed away and today was her funeral. She was like my grandmother. May God rest her soul. She was a wonderful woman and very in love with my grandfather.

I hope that I can have a love that lasts decades or even a love that never dies. Love is the most precious gift on the planet. Most of the time, people forget the luxuries of being in love. People get used to comfort.

Love is what everyone is fighting for. Love is what people are yearning for. Love is even what some people are dying for.

Everlasting love is worth dying for... but more importantly it's worth living for.

Issues

Jealousy is not attractive.

Broken

Okay people, here's the deal...
I am broken in so many ways. In more ways than I ever care to explain. I am at a point in my life where I need to change who I am or get used to what I have become. I honestly can't even believe I am writing this right now. I think I'm just putting myself out there for once.... people need to know who the real me is.

I have been keeping my emotions and feelings inside for a long time. It's caused a lot of damage. I feel as if I've lost myself.

So here is what you need to know if you are close to me. I love you and care about you more than you know and more than you could ever imagine. I have boundary problems.... I don't want anybody close to me. But just because I don't let you in does not mean I don't care about you. I have built this goddamn wall around myself and nobody can get through it. I know, I have problems.

I am broken and that is it... I don't know how else to describe it. I am mean to everyone and I hurt people that I love consistently. I am selfish and stubborn. But the most important thing right now to know is that I am going to change. It may take a lot of time but it will happen. I am determined.

I am going to get myself together and figure out this mess of my life.
I used to be so strong... I'll be there again.
It's going to take time.

Best Friend

My best friend solves all of my problems.

I love her.

My night...

Jazmine & Sidd. <3

Shhhh...

"Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart."

:)

Clarity

Alex says I'm in an unusually good mood today. Really? Am I such a bitch all the time? Haha.
I guess I am, but it's only because I'm exhausted and drained the majority of the time. Maybe things will change. I'm happy for the moment and that is what matters. Soon, I'll be happy enough to start writing again consistently. Passion, writing is my passion... I won't ever let it go. Everything is getting clearer.

Life is getting better because I've been praying consistently. Faith in my beliefs has always been a big part of my life.
"Pray without ceasing." -1 Thessalonians 5:17
Always.

Perfection

I had a flawless weekend.
Falling in love all over again...
<3

Heat

This heat is disgusting.
Summer is the most nauseating season of the entire year. I can't stand the sun, I can't stand the heat, I can't stand the humidity... I don't belong in San Diego. I belong somewhere rainy, cold, and far away. I belong in Ireland.

Infatuation

Ever had an infatuation that won't go away...?
Mine has been here since November.

Writing

I REALLY NEED A LAPTOP.
I don't want to write in my room 24/7. I would love to sit at a Starbucks all day and just write and drink coffee... hello heaven. <3

I wish I could afford one right now.. maybe I'll just get one of the cheap $200.00 ones.
Ugh. Haha, or I'll just bring my desktop everywhere. That'd be amusing.

The book I'm writing is finally going somewhere. I'll keep you posted. ;)