Love Her

Favorite.

Day Three- Parents

This one is hard for me. To be honest, I consider my stepmother my mom. She is the only one who has every played a maternal role in my life, other than my grandmothers.

I love my true mother so much, but she breaks my heart every time I see her. My mom has problems. For the longest time, I didn't want to believe what everyone around me told me. As I grew up, I learned the truth on my own. My little sister will begin to notice soon enough. One of the most important things she has taught me is not to become what she has become. It just hurts me sometimes to know that I didn't have an normal, loving mother. Or for that matter, a normal childhood, like most children have. I've learn to let go because of her. Only she can make the change, and even though the time has passed for her to make it for my sake... she still has time to do it for my little sister.

I used to adore my father. I couldn't wait to spend my weekends with him. But as I got older, we drifted apart. I assume it's because I am his first child and he didn't know how to deal with a rebellious teenage daughter. Whatever the reason, our relationship now is stiff. He is worried about me, always so worried. But it's the little things that he does that shows me he cares. His own little things. I know my dad loves me. He has cared about me my whole life. I just hope that someday I can make him proud.

My stepmom and I have a rocky relationship. But I think that's the way mother/daughter relationships are... I can't be sure though considering that until I met her.. I never knew. She makes me feel loved and safe. Whenever I need a hug or need to cry or need to vent, I go to her.

So there... I know it's not the most inspirational or most uplifting story about parents. But I spoke the truth, at least the truth that is in my heart.

Kisses

I love you Alexander.

730 Days

I've been with my love for two years.
I've been with my best friend for two years.

Oh November 22, 2008... I remember you like yesterday.
I remember that day in vivid colors.
He was wearing a bright green shirt when I saw him. He drove two hours to come and visit me. He surprised me at my work, and when I saw him I felt overwhelmed and giddy and complete, just like I had felt every day that I saw him since meeting him. But this day was different. Even though, I had felt this way about him since the day I met him, he finally felt it back. He wanted me. Finally. When I walked out and found him waiting for me with yellow daisies and red roses waiting in his hands, a brilliant smile on his face, I knew he was it for me.

Everything about that day makes me so happy. Whenever we fight, or I'm sad, or angry... I bring myself back to the emotions I felt that day. I keep going, our love gives me strength and helps me persevere.

Thank you Alexander Yahed Ontiveros.
Thank you for showing me what it feels like to be in love, and giving me hope, courage, and strength. I wouldn't be who I am without you. And I hope you know that I love every single thing about you, I wouldn't change anything about you. You are so loved.

"Two years... wanna make it three?"
I adore you, happy anniversary my love.

Day Two- My Crush

Alex Ontiveros.... he's more than a crush though. He is my everything. I will never stop loving him. He has been my best friend for three years. And my boyfriend for two years. I take him for granted sometimes, but he is my favorite person on this planet. I hope I never lose him.

Lost

I feel lost and alone.

Day One- Best Friend

Rochelle Anne Manion- This girl is such a wonderful person. She is the most giving and unselfish person I have ever met. We have only been friends for about three years, but she has changed my life in so many ways. We partied together, we ditched senior year classes together, cried together, listened to Maroon 5 for hours, painted all night, and most importantly we've taken care of each other. We're different in so many ways, but alike in so many others. I think I would die without her in my life. She saw me through my toughest times.

She is my best friend.

Blog Challenge

Leilani inspired me to take the 30 day blog challenge.
Her blogs are so interesting.
I think this challenge will tell you a lot more about me. I also thinks it'll help me in a lot of ways.

By the way... check out Leilani's blog.
lizardcatcherrx.blogspot.com :)

Here's what I'm going to do.
With each blog I'll write to/about one of the following people
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling(s) (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — A stranger
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

722

722 days since I finally had a wish granted.
Te amo precioso.

Bullshit

Give me something to live for.
I want wine.

Time

Time is going by so fast. I miss being a kid. I wanted time to go by faster.

I miss having friends, not necessarily the people I have cut out of my life. I cut them out for a reason. I just miss being able to have friends to call. I also miss having too many things to do... too many parties.... too many events. I do enjoy privacy, but not all of the time. I really want to move away from San Diego. I want to make the most of the time I have here. I miss writing so much, I just don't have time. I don't have time to do half of the stuff I want or need to do.

Funny

I think it's funny when exes think you still care. :)

Inspire Me

Check out my new blog.

inspirecamber.blogspot.com
I'm going to post daily questions to see what inspires people and makes people happy. :)

Rest in Peace

R.I.P. First car I ever loved, I've given up hope that you'll come back to me. Thanks for all the great times and not costing me a fortune. I hope your new owner is at least good to you... even though he/she is an asshole. Just let your breaks go out on them or something. ;)

P.S. Thank you to my wonderful Uncle for buying me the best car ever. May you R.I.P. as well, I love you and miss you every day. Thanks for being the best Uncle in the world.

OmNomNomNom

So tonight.. I'm going to relax and take a break from worrying about everything. I'm going to enjoy some "me" time. I rarely have time to myself, and I'm okay with that... but it sounds really great tonight. I'm going to read or write... or do something I actually enjoy. :)

Need

a new car.

Need

a new car.

NEW BLOG

I HAVE A NEW BLOG!!!
My goal is to find out what inspires people and what makes them happy.
Let me know. And also view some of my favorite things.
Don't worry, I'm still keeping this one too update you on my life.

Check it out.
inspirecamber.blogspot.com

:)

Healthy

I love eating healthy.
NEVER, EVER, EVER drinking soda again... or eating fast food. I love healthy food, it makes me feel so amazing. My boyfriend and I are being super healthy and I love it.

He's the best and he inspires me to be better... I love him so much!

Cigarettes

Quitting is not all shits and giggles.

I hate my life right now. But I know I'm going to love my life so much more when I do quit. Thank you to everyone that is being so supportive. Sorry for the lack of blogging lately... here's a quick update on my life.

-CAR IS STILL MISSING!!!
-I did not get drunk on my birthday this year! :)
-I had a wonderful birthday!
-Alex got me an ipod for my birthday!
-I am hardcore changing my eating habits... BTW if you haven't read "Skinny Bitch"... go read it now.
-I miss cigarettes.
-I'm 20!!!!!!!!
-I still love my job.

That's it, more later loves...