Please

Please God let me make enough money to move out by November.

Bliss

I had a great night with Alex. The amusing thing with us is that we can spend an hour together (like tonight) and have a wonderful time together. Or we can spend a whole day together and it can be a little off. Yes, we have our off days like any other couple. But to me, nights like this by far outweigh the off days. I've never felt more committed to anyone or anything in my life. It was a special day for us, and my coincidence... one of our anniversaries. We've been together for a year and seven months today. <3

“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

Another

Sorry for so many blogs, just been thinking.

Is it better to be deeply in love with someone and know their feeling are nowhere close to yours? Or care deeply for someone, feel safe with them and know they adore you?
I guess there are positives to both. You know what scares me? Being in love with someone, it terrifies me... especially if they don't love you as much as you love them. I shied away from those types of relationships my whole life. I didn't want to be rejected, I didn't want to feel pain. Heartbreak is without a doubt the most painful thing in the world, I'd take any amount of pain over it. Most of my blogs are about love, I'm sure it's obnoxious... but it fascinates me... I'm still trying to figure it all out. I can tell the difference when I see couples, I can tell who loves who more... or if there is a balance. That would be ideal, if there was always a balance between the couples love. But that is rare. It's sad to know that people that love each other so much at one point in their lives could potentially forget each other. Somebody you knew everything about can potentially turn into a stranger. I hope it won't be us.

Dreams

Oh and just another reminder.... I have two blogs. This one is my life blog, the other is my dreams blog. I record all of my dreams down. Check it out sometime secretsofthedreamer.blogspot.com
I just put a new one up. :)

Piano & Love

I miss playing piano. I've been so busy. I also miss recording songs. I really want to finish learning "My Immortal" so I can play and sing and record it.
Piano makes me happy, I let myself get away for a little bit when I play. I sing everyday on my way to work and on my way home. That makes me happy too. I just love music. But my music taste is so different from everyone else. Sure I can listen to anything and be content. But my favorite artists are generally artists that most people have never heard of.

I hope Alex and I can make it. We sincerely love each other and I know if we focus we can do it. We're complete opposites, so at times it's hard to agree on... well on just about anything. I try and think of myself without him and I fail every time. I know what it was like without him, it hurt... it was horrible. I couldn't hold myself together. But sometimes he frustrates me like no other. That's what love is about though, working with each other. The arguments and disagreements we get into don't even compare to all of the other things we have been through. Handling our little petty issues should be a cinch for us... but they're worse than ever. The good thing is we both apologize and go back to normal fairly quick. We're just completely different people. I think our love holds us together...

SUMMER

"Summertime... and the livins' easy..."
:)
Mmmmm, I can taste summer and it's beautiful. Fair and concert tomorrow with my boyfriend, Alex and best friend, Rochelle. Then, Chelle and I are going to a concert! :)

Summer goals:
-GO CAMPING!
-TONS OF BONFIRES!
-BEACH DAYS!
-FIREWORKS!
-STAY UP ALL NIGHT!
-JULIAN!
:)

Cool. ;)

Happy

I'm so optimistic about everything! Can't wait to move in with Alex in November. I love my job, I love all of the people in my life right now. I'm just happy.

Oh and I like being blonde. ;]

Blonde

I have blonde hair.
And Alex thinks it's sexy.

I think that's enough for one post. Lmao.

Earthquake

I just thought I'd throw it out there that I really love earthquakes, except when they cause destruction.

The earthquake was nice tonight.
That's it. :)

Time

I missed Alex a lot today. (Halloween/My 18th birthday, when we were just best friends--->)

However, it was a very productive day, I got of a lot of work done. I'm motivated to do so much lately... it's amazing. November needs to come sooner, that's all I have to say. I want my own place. If everything goes according to plan... Alex, Jessica, Charlie and I will be able to move in by November. I'm so excited, I can't wait to live with him. Jess and Charlie will be awesome roommates too. I just need to keep consistent at work and everything will go great.

I've been reading a book about spirituality, it's very interesting. It makes me want to write my book. Sigh. I'll get to it eventually. I really wish I didn't have to sleep, I'd have so much more time. We actually spend 1/3 of our life asleep. Ugh, that's so boring. I hate sleeping. I have so many things I want to do. I want to spend days with my friends, I want more time with Alex, I want to spend time with my family, I want alone time, I want to write, I want to read, I want to sing, I want to paint, I want to lounge around for a day, I want to travel. The reality is, there is not enough time or money for any of those. Life is frustrating.

Promise

This is for Alex:

I promise to love you everyday for the rest of forever. I adore you.

P.S. I hope this is quantifiable.

Souls?

I've been reading a spirituality book lately. It's very interesting... I don't know if I neccessarily believe in any of the stuff the author says... but it is definitely interesting to ponder. The book talks mostly about reincarnation and the existance of spirits all around us. So I found an interesting theory about dreams and I posted it on my dreams blog... check it out if you're interested.
secretsofthedreamer.blogspot.com

So life update:
Work: As far as Proactive goes, I am pretty much done working for them... my official last day is a week from tomorrow. My marketing job is going great. There are hard days, I'm not going to lie. Days where I get down, but I'm getting much better at motivating myself and figuring out where I want to go and what i want to do with my life. I am motivated to do great things in life. I need to set really high goals for myself, I know I can do it!
Relationship: Everything lately has been so great between Alex and I lately. We have our off days, but generally we are very happy and loving towards each other. We appreciate each others company much more since we split a few months ago. Anyways, he just makes me happy. I genuinely feel we're ready to take the next stpe and move in together. I'm praying that it works out by November.

And everything else is going okay. I have stressful days and good days. I've been worrying a lot more lately. But I'm on a track to make everything better. I can't wait to get my health back on track, I've been losing a lot of weight since I started this job, and I'm super excited and happy about it. Also I can't wait to actually find out what the constant pain in my lower back is and take care of it.

Well that's all for now...
Good night.

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -Eleanor Rooselvelt

Alex

My boyfriend continues to amaze me.
I had a bad day at work, and he had a bad day at school but he still treated me like a princess. He gave me a foot, hair, and back massage... he really loves me.
I love him too much, can't wait to move out with him and start our lives together.
November is our goal to be moved in together... maybe we can do it by our two year anniversary.

Sleep is a neccessity right now... I'm assuming if I keep writing I'll be passed out on top of the keyboard within the next couple minutes, lol.
Good night.

"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control."

Sorry

Sorry I haven't been writing lately.

Super busy at my office lately, I'll post a life update soon.
My boyfriend is amazing, just thought I'd throw that little tid-bit in there. :) Look how cute he is :) --->
I fall in love with him more and more everyday, and I am so blessed to have such a talented, driven, handsome, caring, and sweet boyfriend/best friend. Hmph, I love him, that's all. <3

I'll write soon loves...