Today

I don't even know how to explain today. To be honest, it was just as ordinary as any other day. I woke up at the same time, drove to work (actually got stuck in traffic, for once), got to work on time, went through the same rituals I go through everyday. But I was not there to go through the motions during the work day... my emotions were everywhere and my thoughts were on one person. I don't think anybody noticed, I talked on the phone to the customers the same as I always do... I didn't slack off or make any mistakes (but I felt robotic the whole day) My mind was not on work... it was so many places today, good and bad... refreshing and heart-breaking. Sometimes, I don't know what to do... I feel like crying or screaming but I can't. I just feel numb to it all. I know what I want, I want it so badly it hurts. I will never have it.