2011

Oh 2011...
You have been a great year for me. This has been the best year I've had since 2008. Everything has come together. And I am at least with peace with all issues that are unresolved.

Review of this year:
-Spent the majority of time with my best friend Jazmine and my godson Sidd.
-I bought my 2011 Toyota Corolla!
-Alex started working with me.
-Alex & I moved in together, in our first apartment.
-I got a promotion to Sales manager at my job!

Those are the top things that happened this year and I feel so blessed.

Let's see what 2012 brings! <33333333

Christmas

Christmas was truly wonderful this year. I am so blessed.
I saw almost all of my family. And for the first time, Alex joined my family and me for Christmas dinner. My Grandpa loved Alex immediately and I am so relieved because he is a hard judge. My Grandpa barely said two words to my last ex. I just feel so grateful that my prayers are being answered. 2011 was a year of hope for me. I am so lucky to have a wonderful and accepting family. I am blessed to have Alex, who is my best friend and the person I will probably spend the rest of my life with. God is helping me and answering my prayers, He is here with me every moment of every day. I am eternally grateful. He is the reason for the season. Always.

My strength and faith has grown so much in the last year.
<3333

Writing

I'm writing again.<3


& also praying that I get over this horrible cold soon.

1

"Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation.
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination.
Silently the senses abandon their defenses."

The Other

It's simple.
"Not him... the other. It's always been the other...."
Why am I just now realizing this when I feel as if I've known forever?

I was just too connected to the idea of love as a whole. My dream with the sketch, the picture, the painting... completing before my eyes and then I blink, the dream proceeds, I realize the paper is blank and the image I saw before my eyes was not the correct one. Everything, everything, EVERYTHING needs to be adjusted.


My best friend's words buzz in my head, like a beehive, an unmanageable mess.
"...old
..............lasting.....
wisdom.....
growth......... you.....
....before....
............without...... this
he...... normal.....
..listen
soul..... follow....
.....worry.... meant.... choose.........
be...... doesn't..... halves... your
before..... many.......
.....................two....
.........it...... heart... time
matter.... lasts.......... dreams......
.....knew.... past.... life.... deep......
same....same....same.....aura..... eyes....whole.. loss
.....comfort.... he... you.... same...... same........... same.....
..............I know who is right for you........
..........Same person."

Just scrambled words.... pieces of my puzzle.
The Other.

Love, Love, Love...

"I am aiming to be somebody this somebody trusts, with her delicate soul I don't claim to know much, except soon as you start to make room for the parts that aren't you it gets harder to bloom in a garden of... love, love, love... love. Love, love, love, love. Only thing I ever could need, only one good thing worth trying to be and it's....
Love
Love
Love
Love
I do it for Love
Love
Love
Love

We can understand the sentiment you're saying to us, Oh, but sensible sells so could you kindly shut up and get started at keeping your part of the bargain. Oh please little darlin' you're killing me sweetly with love, love, love.... love.
Love, love, love, love."

"You can't miss something that you never had."

This week....

This week is probably going to be the busiest week of my life.
And the countdown begins...

Did I mention that I'm not going to write about him anymore? I'm trying reaaaaaaaaaalllllllly hard not to. Haha.

Letting Go

“If I could but know his heart, everything would become easy.”

“I may have lost my heart, but not my self-control. ”


“I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never.”

New

I am so blessed. Everything is falling into a perfect place for me. I am going to finally crawl myself out of this hole that I have been in for so long. I am going to start new and fresh. I finally have my own beginning, and I am going to make it a beautiful one. I know that I am going to be great and I only know this because I have God on my side. Prayer is the strongest force on this planet. Knock on God's door and he will always answer.

Life is beautiful and from this point on, I plan to cherish every day.

I am letting go of all things that are uncertain. I am now embracing a future that is steady and reliable over the future that is a dream.









“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.”

Lovely November

I love the month of November.... for so many reasons. Today was such a long, ordinary, and simple day... but today I felt more happy than I have felt in a long time.

I am praying that I will have some clarity within the next few weeks. My life can take two turns and I'm open to either. Lord, give me strength to do what needs to be done to make my life more whole.


In other news....
ONE MONTH UNTIL THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! <3

Thanksgiving & 60 years

Well... I was so thankful to have almost all of my wonderful family around me this Thanksgiving. I truly feel blessed for everything I have. The threads of my life finally feel like they are weaving themselves together to make a beautiful future and an exciting outlook on the times ahead. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

And... Happy 60 year anniversary to Dominick & Mary Scanlon (my grandparents). They are two of the most wonderful people on this earth and still very much in love with each other.

My Love

“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

Anniversary

3 years.
Wow.

Silence

"Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart."

Refresh

I wish I could clear my mind. I need to find the refresh button. Sometimes the very thing that you have wanted for so long turns out to be something you're actually quite afraid of.

I just want a sign, is this the direction my life is meant to take?

Talk

If we could just talk more than a casual hello, maybe something would come out of it.
Too bad I'm always so nervous.

Empty Words?

I wonder if he reads my blog. It would be a waste if he didn't.
Almost everything I write is about him....
Without him seeing the words, this blog might as well be empty.

Stubborn

Back at square one again, I think I might just give up. I want to stop caring... it's taking too much energy out of me. I should NOT feel the way I do. When I fall, I fall hard. I am such an intense person.

What is meant to be is meant to be. Hear that Camber? Leave it alone.
Stubbornness usually wins... so this is a wasted effort to try and talk myself into walking away from my emotions. You can't let go of an idea that makes complete sense. You can't let go of unrealistic dreams. And you definitely can't fathom the idea of not having the future that you would die to have. I need him to be my future, more than I have ever needed anything in my life.

Holes

My heart feels like it has holes in it.

November

November is the month that changed everything.
November will always be the month that is associated with you.
November is the most beautiful month of all.

November reminds me of secrets, hidden thoughts, and you.

Time

"From the first heartbeat struck within a vital body, a bell got tolled and the clock started to run. A bargain you weren't even aware of having made was put into play, with destiny holding all the cards. As minutes and hours and days and months and years passed, history was written as you ran out of time until your last heartbeat marked the end of the ride and the time to tally wins and losses."

Entranced

I am so entranced by my current book.<3
:]

I'll write a long blog this weekend.

Lucky

I am so lucky to have her as my best friend. I thank God everyday that she is in my life.

Twenty One

I am officially 21. I had one of the best birthday's ever. I'll write more about it later. <3

One Person

"I use to worry a lot about who I would be when I grew up. How much money I would make or if someday I would become some big deal. Sometimes the thing you most want doesn't happen. Sometimes the thing you never expect often does. You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. Then you meet one person and your life is changed forever."

Butterflies...

Something happened today that gave me butterflies. <3
Maybe he finally understands.

Three Days...

Only three days left until I'm 21!
:D

Oops... I mean four days, wishful thinking.

Regret...

“Let me tell you a few things about regret...There is no end to it. You cannot find the beginning of the chain that brought us from there to here. Should you regret the whole chain, and the air in between, or each link separately as if you could uncouple them? Do you regret the beginning which ended so badly, or just the ending itself?”

I want to live without regret.

Attainable

I have hope.
Maybe what I want the most is actually attainable. Sometimes your heart just makes choices for you. I can't control what I feel, sometimes you just know in your heart and soul that something is right.

He is right for me... in every way, shape, and form.

Oy

I'm in so much pain. :'(

Yay

I'm so excited for my birthday! HAPPY HOUR... HERE I COME!
:)

:)

Fantastic weekend.
<333

Happy

Tonight's going to be a good night.
<3

Countdown (2011)

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

TEN things you wish you could say to ten different people right now:

1 . I just want you to be okay so that I can move on with my life, I can't worry about you anymore.
2 . I am so proud of the person you have become, you are a better version of yourself. I would be completely lost without you in my life.
3 . It's ridiculous how much I feel the need to be around you. You are like a magnet pulling me to you.
4 . I want to make you proud. I wish we got along better.
5 . Karma.
6 . I hope you are always in my life.
7 . Remember those nights at the bay?
8 . I only want the best for you. I am sorry I haven't been the best person to you. I love you more than anything.
9 . I am so grateful that you came into my life. You are the person I want to become.
10 . Thank you for making an effort.

NINE things about yourself :

1 . I am very pale.
2 . I love Indie music.
3 . I have NO tolerance for people that do drugs. You're not welcome in my life if you do.
4 . Writing is my escape.
5 . I'm deathly afraid of moths. (Not kidding)
6 . I love my job.
7 . There's not enough time for me to do all of the things I need to do.
8 . I am confident with the type of person I am, but self-conscious about my appearance.
9 . I only sing when I'm happy.

EIGHT ways to win your heart , in no particular order :

1 . Have a great sense of humor.
2 . The little things matter the most.
3 . Be a devoted Christian.
4 . Have direction.
5 . Sing to me.
6 . Prove that you're worth my time.
7 . Have strong family values.
8 . And being tall, dark, and handsome doesn't hurt. :)

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot, in no particular order :

1 . Worry for my Mom.
2 . Moving out.
3 . Work.
4 . Love.
5 . The future.
6 . Family.
7 . Friends.

SIX things you do before you fall asleep :

1 . Wash my face.
2 . Brush my teeth.
3 . Internet.
4 . Write a blog or write parts of my book.
5 . Watch TV.
6 . Set my alarm.

FIVE people who mean a lot to you :

1 . Jazmine.
2 . Sidd.
3 . Alex.
4 . Rochelle.
5 . Family.

FOUR things you’re wearing right now :

1 . Pajama bottoms.
2 . Tank top.
3 . Glasses.
4 . Ring.

THREE songs that you listen to often :

1 . "Between the Lines" by Sara Bareilles.
2 . "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People.
3 . "Lost" by Coldplay.

TWO things you want to do before you die :

1 . Be successful.
2 . Get married and have children.

ONE confession :

1 . I push people away, even when I need them.

TRUTHS as of this moment in your life :::

1 . Truthfully … I need to be more respectful and responsible.
2 . Truthfully … When I fall in love, I fall hard.
3 . Truthfully … I am too emotionally damaged to feel anything other than numb when I am hurt.
4 . Truthfully … I wish my Mom would understand where I am coming from.
5 . Truthfully … I'm not ready to settle down.
6 . Truthfully … I am so grateful.
7 . Truthfully … I am much more mature than others my age.
8 . Truthfully … If you lose my trust, it will take a long time to regain it.

Work

My job is my way to get away from the stress of my life. I am so thankful to work with the people at my job, they all have the kindest hearts. It's amazing that for the first time in my life I've found a job that I truly love. I've been working so much lately, and I don't mind at all. However, I am looking forward to my vacation at the end of the month. It will be nice to have a few days to just relax and celebrate my 21st birthday. :)

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

My sister. I love her more than anything.

Reality

Last night was the first dream I can remember having in three months. And of course, it was the most intense dream I have ever had. I dreamed that he felt everything for me that I felt for him and for once in my life, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. However, I had to wake up and realize that he is as far away from me as he has always been and will probably never want what I want.

Wake up & enjoy a fresh dose of reality.

Love, Hopes, and Dreams...

If only happily ever after came in a bottle...

Costume

I lied... I'm not making my Halloween costume, I decided to buy it. Haha.
Vampire. I'm old-school.
It's different... it lights up. :) Bar-hopping in PB & Downtown the whole night.... I love that my birthday is on Halloween.

Shattered Pieces

It rained so much today and I am so happy. It was such a perfect day out.

I am so much more content with my life lately. I am finding happiness in the simplest things. I don't feel numb anymore, and it's so relieving. I am so blessed to live the life that I live and I thank God for it everyday. I have had so many struggles the past few years, but I finally feel like I am going to be able to get a grip on everything bad that has happened and let it go. I have to come to terms with my past and realize that I can't control everything and also come to terms with the fact that I can not help somebody who is not willing to be helped. What I can do, however, is cause awareness and prevent it from happening to somebody else. I don't ever want anybody to go through the struggles that I go through everyday. I don't want anybody to carry such a heavy burden and not be able to help somebody they love. My heart is heavy, but there is only so much I can do until I have to look around at the shattered pieces, pick them all up, and put them together again. That is what I am doing, I am putting myself together again.

October

Oh, my beautiful October is here...
Saw rain and felt cold for the first time in months. Lol. <333

Yellow

She is my favorite person on the planet.

Obsessed

Ergh

Okay. I desperately need a laptop. I have too much to do and I can't do it all from home. I'm going to go crazy.

Ready, set, AUTUMN!!!

Can you tell Fall is my second favorite season? <3
I am one step closer to my favorite... winter!
<3333333333

Autumn 3

Autumn 2

Autumn 1

Falling

Falling in love or falling out of love, that is the question...

The answer will change everything.

Happy

I feel so blessed lately. My life is coming together.
I feel like I can take the whole world on today.

Happiness is, letting go.<3

Relief

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I might actually get some peace soon. I had a very eventful and awakening day. I have been lost for so long now. I have hope that my life is going to change, and somewhere within this change I will be able accept my life. There is one person especially that has shaped me to have so many emotional problems and resentment towards others, my Mother. I am learning to forgive her and I am also learning to detach myself from all of her issues. I need her emotional weight lifted, I need to let go.

Here is the perfect combination to get through any bump in the road:
-Goals
-Strength
-Prayer
-Faith
-Perseverance
-Determination
-Support
-Clarity

I'm on my way.

Look After You

If I don't say this now I will surely break

As I'm leaving the one I want to take

Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait

My heart has started to separate


Oh, oh,

Be my baby

Ohhhhh

Oh, oh

Be my baby

I'll look after you


There now, steady love, so few come and don't go

Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know

When I'm losing my control, the city spins around

You're the only one who knows, you slow it down


Oh, oh

Be my baby

Ohhhhhh

Oh, oh

Be my Baby

I'll look after you

And I'll look after you


If ever there was a doubt

My love she leans into me

This most assuredly counts

She says most assuredly


Oh, oh

Be my baby

I'll look after you

After You

Oh, oh

Be my baby

Ohhhhh

It's always have and never hold

You've begun to feel like home

What's mine is yours to leave or take

What's mine is yours to make your own


Oh, oh

Be my baby

Ohhhhh

Oh, oh


Be my baby

I'll look after you


You are so beautiful to me.

Chargers- Game 2

UMMMM, HELLO CHARGERS.... GET IT TOGETHER. Jazmine and I had to leave the room in the last quarter because we were disgusted. Haha.

The Saints and Bears game was great to watch. Jeez, I wish we still had Brees & Sproles. I am about to lose hope in the Chargers.

"For You"

If you're lost and feeling low,

Circumnavigate the globe,

All you have is hope.



And the way you seem to flow

Circumnavigate the globe,

I never seem to lose control,

With you.



Everyone of us is high,

Everyone of us is low,

Everyone of us is here,

How about you?

Your eyes are closed,

Your head held low,

Your eyes are closed.



Everyone of us is high,

Everyone of us is low,

Everyone of us has hope,

For you.

News

I feel much better today, still a little tired though.
I can't wait for the weekend, it's going to be a great one. My whole family is getting together on Saturday and I am so excited.
I had a dream, last night, that I finished my book and it was on the New York Times bestseller list for a year. Go ahead, tell me to keep dreaming. I'll get there someday. :)

The Never-Ending Cold

My cold is back... yes, the same cold I had two months ago. I feel a little better than I did earlier. I have aches all over, a migraine, and my throat hurts. I'm praying that it at least lets up by tomorrow.

Ugh.

Happy Birthday

Alex!!!

Reading

I know I'm a nerd because I read all of the time. But I also don't care. Reading is one of the most important things in the world to me.

<3

Yeah!

Writing....

Goodnight and Go

"Oh why'd you have to be so cute, it's impossible to ignore you. Must you make me laugh so much? It's bad enough we get along so well. Say goodnight and go. Say goodnight and go. Why's it always, always goodnight and go? Darling not again. Goodnight and go."

LMAO

Winter

It's almost Winter... Honestly, it needs to come quicker.
I am done with this heat. I need to move somewhere that rains a lot and is below 65 degrees all of the time.

That's all.

Refreshed

Went camping at Lake Henshaw for the weekend with my Mom, Skye, Cheryl. We only stayed one night, but it was great. We barbecued, set up our tents, had a bonfire, ate marshmallows, drank, and relaxed. "I'll put up pictures soon. It was refreshing to be away from everything for a little while.

I forgot how beautiful the stars are in the mountains. The lights are just too bright in cities, the air is too thick as well. I could have stayed up all night just looking at the stars. It's times like those that remind me of how thankful I am to have such a loving God. How could anybody look around at such beauty and not believe in God? I am grateful.

In the end though, it was nice to get back... I missed my bed... which I'm actually looking forward to jumping into right now.

Good night.

P.S. The rain, thunder, and lightening today made me smile. Good bye summer, hello beautiful autumn and winter.<3

Camping

I'm going to Lake Henshaw to go camping today. I'm so excited. I haven't been camping in 4 years. I think I'm going to get a lot of writing done while I'm there, it'll be nice.

Ink on paper... in the nice refreshing mountain air.

<3

Honey

"The truth is, I can't afford to have any problems with Camber at the moment. I live to be able to hear her voice and see her face and kiss her lips. She's so incredibly important to me and she probably has no idea. I hope one day she realizes how much I really love her."

No honey, you're the one of value here.

I love you more than you'll ever know.

I'll prove it to you...

Patience

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."

Patience, prayer, and meditation.

Everlasting

Today was an overwhelming day. It was a hard day too.

My grandpa's wife passed away and today was her funeral. She was like my grandmother. May God rest her soul. She was a wonderful woman and very in love with my grandfather.

I hope that I can have a love that lasts decades or even a love that never dies. Love is the most precious gift on the planet. Most of the time, people forget the luxuries of being in love. People get used to comfort.

Love is what everyone is fighting for. Love is what people are yearning for. Love is even what some people are dying for.

Everlasting love is worth dying for... but more importantly it's worth living for.

Issues

Jealousy is not attractive.

Broken

Okay people, here's the deal...
I am broken in so many ways. In more ways than I ever care to explain. I am at a point in my life where I need to change who I am or get used to what I have become. I honestly can't even believe I am writing this right now. I think I'm just putting myself out there for once.... people need to know who the real me is.

I have been keeping my emotions and feelings inside for a long time. It's caused a lot of damage. I feel as if I've lost myself.

So here is what you need to know if you are close to me. I love you and care about you more than you know and more than you could ever imagine. I have boundary problems.... I don't want anybody close to me. But just because I don't let you in does not mean I don't care about you. I have built this goddamn wall around myself and nobody can get through it. I know, I have problems.

I am broken and that is it... I don't know how else to describe it. I am mean to everyone and I hurt people that I love consistently. I am selfish and stubborn. But the most important thing right now to know is that I am going to change. It may take a lot of time but it will happen. I am determined.

I am going to get myself together and figure out this mess of my life.
I used to be so strong... I'll be there again.
It's going to take time.

Best Friend

My best friend solves all of my problems.

I love her.

My night...

Jazmine & Sidd. <3

Shhhh...

"Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart."

:)

Clarity

Alex says I'm in an unusually good mood today. Really? Am I such a bitch all the time? Haha.
I guess I am, but it's only because I'm exhausted and drained the majority of the time. Maybe things will change. I'm happy for the moment and that is what matters. Soon, I'll be happy enough to start writing again consistently. Passion, writing is my passion... I won't ever let it go. Everything is getting clearer.

Life is getting better because I've been praying consistently. Faith in my beliefs has always been a big part of my life.
"Pray without ceasing." -1 Thessalonians 5:17
Always.

Perfection

I had a flawless weekend.
Falling in love all over again...
<3

Heat

This heat is disgusting.
Summer is the most nauseating season of the entire year. I can't stand the sun, I can't stand the heat, I can't stand the humidity... I don't belong in San Diego. I belong somewhere rainy, cold, and far away. I belong in Ireland.

Infatuation

Ever had an infatuation that won't go away...?
Mine has been here since November.

Writing

I REALLY NEED A LAPTOP.
I don't want to write in my room 24/7. I would love to sit at a Starbucks all day and just write and drink coffee... hello heaven. <3

I wish I could afford one right now.. maybe I'll just get one of the cheap $200.00 ones.
Ugh. Haha, or I'll just bring my desktop everywhere. That'd be amusing.

The book I'm writing is finally going somewhere. I'll keep you posted. ;)

July

Good bye July!!!!!!
:)

Had a great weekend by the way... that's all.
Oh & my boyfriend is amazing. <3

OH MY GOD!!!

Dear Camber,

First of all, I’m really sorry for taking so long to get back to you – life got ahead of me for a while there, and I’m only just starting to catch up.

You’ve absolutely made my day. It’s amazing to know that someone’s reading and enjoying the books – specially when it’s someone who’s clearly as passionate about books as I am! Thank you so much for taking the time to e-mail me, and for putting a huge happy grin right across my face.

I worked on an archaeological dig in Sligo, back in the mid-90s, but I haven't been back there since. It's stunningly beautiful.

All the best,

Tana

Tana French just wrote an email to me!!! I am in complete shock! Her stories are so beautiful and she is such a talented author. She is one of the writers that inspires me the most. I am so happy right now.

A City Serene-Comeback Show

A City Serene's BIG show is on August 6th!!!
If you haven't heard of them, you should definitely check them out on facebook and listen to their music.

Their new songs are amazing, the show is going to be great, don't miss it! :)

Friday

I am so happy the week is over. I'm exhausted.
I've had this ridiculously annoying cold all week, and I've felt like crap everyday after I get off of work.

It's going to be a good weekend... even if I have to curl up in my bed all day, watch movies, and drink Nyquil... haha.

Remember, I still have my anonymous blog thing going on.... email questions or comments to this email address: blogexperiment@hotmail.com

Attached

Alex is back from his trip. I missed him so much.
I am so attached to him today... maybe we can finally get things back on track with our relationship. He is my best friend and I would be completely lost without him in my life. It's funny how men can make a woman frustrated one minute and completely in love the next.

This quote is always the one that I put up when he comes home from a trip away from me.
I love you.

"Within you I lose myself... without you I find myself wanting to be lost again."

Heavy

My heart feels heavy.
:/

Love

Does anybody believe in love anymore?

Experiment

A friend told me she had an anonymous pen-pal. (LOL!)
I want to try it. If you want to participate in my experiment, create an anonymous email account and send a message to me. We can talk about life, lol. :)


blogexperiment@hotmail.com
:D

P.S. Feel free to email there if you have any suggestions or comments about my blog as well.

Problems

I wish I could be really blunt and say exactly what I feel all the time. I am ridiculously shy lately. I know that sometimes it is good to just put yourself out there and see what comes from it, but I am so afraid of what might happen. At least if I did that, I wouldn't be questioning every small detail of my interactions with him. Actually, I wouldn't be questioning any interactions or worrying about the outcome of any situation I'm in. I need clarity. I find this hilarious and ridiculous at the same time. I am NOT a shy person at all, I am extremely outgoing and confident... or I was. Maybe this is the new me... apparently I don't know how to talk to people. Social anxiety much? It's a problem. I've always been the type of person to go for exactly what I want in any aspect of life. This is driving me insane.

Who was I seven years ago and what was I thinking? LMAO.

Sidd

He's one and a half...
& he knows how to make faces like that.

I love my godson.

Hope

Hope.Hope.Hope.
It is the only thing that matters now.
Maybe you'll notice.

Familiar

"I, being, poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams."


It's nice when the same familiar face always stars in your dreams.

Can't

God, I can't do this anymore.

You...

You make me so happy, but so sad at the same time.

:)

I'm going to stop caring... :)

Day 12 — The Person That Has Caused You The Most Pain

He knows who he is...

Soon

Believe me, when all this shit is over, I am going to write my heart out and say exactly how I feel. I am finally going to let it all out.
I wish I could blog about it or write in some way about this situation.

Soon.
Very, very soon.

Day 11 — A Deceased Person You Wish You Could Talk To

I'm going to start my blog challenge again... 5 months later... ;)

Day 11 —
My grandmother. She was the most brilliant woman I have ever known, there are not many people that can finish the New York Times crossword everyday without any help. She taught me so many wonderful things that will stay with me for life. The best thing I gained from having her as my Grandmother, is my passion for reading and writing. She taught me to read at a young age, and since then I haven't been able to stop myself. I would trade anything just to spend another day with her.

Weekend

I had such a busy, tiring weekend. Went out to dinner with Jazmine on Friday, worked all day Saturday... babysat Sidd Saturday night... after he went to bed, had a good talk with Josh and Jazmine. Stayed up until three in the morning talking and drinking. Woke up spent half the day with Jazmine, and went home and watched the 17 and under soccer World Cup. Now... I'm just going to clean and relax for the rest of the night.

I haven't been writing much lately, I've been out and about a lot. Great thing are happening for me right now. Prayer does a lot.

Insomnia

AHHHH! Can't sleeep! O_O

Happiness

Life is great right now, there is only one thing that could make it better.

If I Fell

"If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true? And help me understand... 'cause I've been in love before... and I thought that love was more than just holding hands."

Pray

"The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." Peter 4:7

Stupid

I feel like an idiot.
Broke my finger today... at work. Embarrassing.
My middle finger... right next to my left ring finger that was broken years ago and still remains crooked. My hands are going to look terrible.

I have this ugly bruise under my middle finger.... and right now (while I'm typing this) I realized that it's going to be hard to type tomorrow with my obnoxious finger brace.

Sigh... this is my life I guess.
Lmao.

Better

Much better.

Fair

The San Diego County Fair is here...
It is almost my favorite thing in the world! Going this weekend.
:)

Beautiful

"Jane, be still; don't struggle so like a wild, frantic bird, that is rending its own plumage in its desperation."

"I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being, with an independent will; which I now exert to leave you."

-Charlotte Bronte

Last Bronte quote for a while... putting the depression back on the shelves... where it belongs.

Wise Words

"You are, like, way too sad... Put Bronte down for a while and, instead, try some Nicholas Sparks. At the end, even though you're crying, you won't feel so resigned to fate, but, rather, able to pull up your bootstraps and surge into the future - feeling able to handle whatever is waiting for you..."

Thank you Elizabeth!

My Happiness

Alex, Jazmine, and Sidd give me all of my happiness.

They're all I need to keep going.

...and of course, my dreams... my crazy, happy, wonderful dreams.

Decisions

I feel like I have three choices I could make with my life right now.

Two are completely available and open to me.

And, of course, one of them I would have to put myself out there with.

Obviously I want what I can't have or something that is at least harder to get.

If only people knew what I really wanted... if only he knew.

Padres Game

Went to the Padres game with my co-workers tonight. Brought Jazmine as my guest, my work gave everybody two tickets. I had a great time. I hadn't been downtown in so long. I really need to start getting out more. Jazmine was such a great friend tonight... I'm so lucky to have her as a best friend. The Padres lost the game, but it was still nice to be around co-workers outside of work. :)

Instrument of Evil

"Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt! May your eyes never shed such stormy, scalding, heart-wrung tears as poured from mine. May you never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agised as in that hour left my lips: for never may you, like me, dread to be the instrument of evil to what you wholly love."
-Charlotte Bronte

Hurt

Foolish.
Pain.
Stupidity.
Love.
Anger.

I'm learning.
I want to let go.

Quiet

Lack of entries lately.

I'll write soon.

Falling Slowly

"I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice

You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing it loud."

I Am

"I am: yet what I am none cares or knows,
My friends forsake me like a memory lost;
I am the self-consumer of my woes,
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shades in love and death's oblivion lost;
And yet I am! and live with shadows tost

Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life nor joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life's esteems;
And e'en the dearest--that I loved the best--
Are strange--nay, rather stranger than the rest.

I long for scenes where man has never trod;
A place where woman never smil'd or wept;
There to abide with my creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept:
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie;
The grass below--above the vaulted sky."

-John Clare

Parks and Ponds

"Parks and ponds are good by day;
I do not delight
In black acres of the night,
Nor my unseasoned step disturbs
The sleeps of trees or dreams of herbs."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Excited

Ahhhh... so many things are happening!
:D

Remember Me

"Songs and smells will bring you back to a moment in time more than anything else. It's amazing how much can be conjured with a few notes of a song or a solitary whiff of a room. A song you didn't even pay attention to at the time, a place that you didn't even know had a particular smell."
-Emily Giffin

Nightmare

It started with a dream.... well to be honest, my dream was actually a nightmare. My nightmare became an idea. My idea has become an obsession. My obsession will become a book.

Thanks

"First, stop referring to yourself as an “aspiring writer.” You might aspire to get paid for what you do, but you are a writer if you write… As a corollary, stop worrying that you won’t be good enough, or comparing yourself to others. Don’t let the idea of a novel overwhelm or intimidate you so much that you are too afraid to begin. It’s like training for a marathon. Nobody gets out there and runs twenty-six miles on their first effort. It takes daily training and discipline and desire. There’s no real magic to writing a novel or one method that works for all—it’s just a question of attacking the project sentence by paragraph by page by chapter... Write what you feel and be fiercely honest. If you don’t feel a deep connection to your characters and writing, then chances are nobody else will."

-Emily Giffin

Numb

Maybe people should know how much I don't care anymore.

Numb. Everything is always numb.

Mother

I wish I could take joy in Mother's Day. I wish that I felt grateful to have an amazing mother. But I don't and I never will. And sometimes, especially days like Mother's Day... it's hard. I wish I could make her understand how much she hurts me every minute of every day. But more than anything, I wish that I could help her. I need her so much.

Speak

"I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope."

Words

"That was the thing about words, they were clear and specific--chair, eye, stone-- but when you talked about feelings, words were too stiff, they were this and not that, they couldn't include all the meanings. In defining, they always left something out."

Scarlett

Complexion of scarlett,
Still air.
Lingering thoughts,
Admit it.
Despair,
Radiation.
Simple and safe,
Comfort with desperation.
Longing thoughts,
Admit it.
Raw glances,
See you.
Loud ears,
Hear you.
Black hole named Chance,
Abyss... nothing.
Eyes, reveries, words, intensity.
Inevitable, change, everything.
Blush- burning.
Scarlett.

5/5/11

Incandescence

Ice will fever,
Long winters gone.
Memories,
Canvases open.
Chills are luxuries,
Crystal thread and fine points.
Spinning,
Ring a round.
White shades,
Round summers.
Incandescence might last.

5/3/11

Tattoo

"Remember it all, every insult, every tear. Tattoo it on the inside of your mind. In life, knowledge of poisons is essential. I've told you, nobody becomes an artist unless they have to."
-Janet Fitch

I remember because I have to remember, but maybe someday I will remember because I choose to remember.

Big Day

Alex is graduating from USD in three weeks!

I'm so proud of him. He's worked so hard these last two years at USD. He's graduating with a Bachelors in Business Administration (with a 3.6 GPA). Yeah, I'm bragging.

He only deserves the best things in life. I wish I could put into words how amazing he is.
I know that someday he will realize what a kind spirit he has and how much his smile and laughter affect the people around him.

Summer

I want a summer storm. They're perfect.

Scream

Most of the time, I just want to scream.

May

May reminds me of my grandmother... I miss her terribly. I hope it's a good month.

Royal Wedding

Charles & Diana. 1981


William & Kate. 2011

Rosie Hardy

New favorite photographer.

Better

We're realizing that we can be better people. Now we have to figure out if we can be better people with or without each other.

Inspiration

I want us to work.

Future

Can't wait to move forward.

46 Days...

Everything changes in 46 days...

Thank You

"The time will come when, with elation, you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror, and each will smile at the others welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life."

Quote 4

"We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we're afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. We must always be prepared for endless waves of transformation."

From "Eat, Pray, Love".

Quote 3

"Feels like a precious wound, like a heartbreak you won't let go of because it hurts too good."

From "Eat, Pray, Love".

Quote 2

"Would you please come up here? If we just know that we have a screwed up relationship, and we stick it out anyway... we accept that we fight a lot, hardly have sex anymore.... but we don't wanna live without each other. That way we can spend our lives together. Miserable, but happy not to be apart."

From "Eat, Pray, Love".

New York

I want to live in New York. Right now.

Insidious

Insidious is terrifying.

Astral projection seems terrifying. >:O

Don't Let Me Fall

"Underneath the moon, underneath the stars
Here's a little heart for you
Up above the world, up above it all
Here's a hand to hold on to

But if I should break, if I should fall away
What am I to do?
I need someone to take a little of the weight
Or I'll fall through

You're just the one that I've been waiting for
I'll give you all that I have to give and more
But don't let me fall

Take a little time, walk a little line
Get the balance right
Give a little love, gimme just enough
So that I can hang on tight."

AHHH!

I LOVE BLOGGING. :D

Gym tonight.... so energetic! SWEET!

Bamboo

Chrysanthemum

Cherry Blossom

Painting

I painted today... here comes the pictures. :)

Sick

e e
O

exhausted & sick.
I want to die right now.
Can't sleep.

Rain

Rain is romantic....

Uncharted

Perfection.
I love her.

Sweet

"Writing on my blog makes me feel better."
"Reading your blog makes me feel better."

Smiles.

Flashback

So old. Wow!
Best summer ever.

Walks

Glasses of wine & a nice walk keep me happy.
.............

It's the little things.

Love & Other Drugs

"I am full of shit. I am knowingly full of shit. I have never cared about anybody or anything in my entire life, and people have accepted that... And then you... you didn't think of me that way. I have never known anyone who actually believed that I was enough until I met you, and then you made me believe too. So unfortunately, I need you and you need me."

Indifference

"The opposite of love is indifference."

Thanks, I'll try.

Please

I hope that I'm making the right decision.

Today

I don't even know how to explain today. To be honest, it was just as ordinary as any other day. I woke up at the same time, drove to work (actually got stuck in traffic, for once), got to work on time, went through the same rituals I go through everyday. But I was not there to go through the motions during the work day... my emotions were everywhere and my thoughts were on one person. I don't think anybody noticed, I talked on the phone to the customers the same as I always do... I didn't slack off or make any mistakes (but I felt robotic the whole day) My mind was not on work... it was so many places today, good and bad... refreshing and heart-breaking. Sometimes, I don't know what to do... I feel like crying or screaming but I can't. I just feel numb to it all. I know what I want, I want it so badly it hurts. I will never have it.

Snow

I need someone to go to Big Bear with me this weekend. :(
Won four tickets to go snow-boarding/skiing. Don't have a way up there.

Cold

I keep secrets to myself.
I'm full of hidden thoughts, desires, and wonders.
My dreams, most importantly, will never escape my mind.

Sometimes, at night, I wonder why I live the way I do. Why do I not tell people the things that I want the most? Why am I so secretive? Why am I so cold? Why am I so bitter?
The answer will NOT make sense to most people: I want to live my life with some poetic edge to it. I don't even know how to explain what that means to anyone. I just know that I have certain concepts that I find profoundly beautiful and I don't want them ever taken away. I also think that I enjoy living my life with a certain amount of drama. Most of the time, I don't want to know what is going to happen next. I need to live in my mind, away from everyone else. I want my secrets.

But then again, there is nothing I want more than for you to discover everything about me.... in your own good time.

Warm

I wish you I was in Hawaii right now.
Mmmmm.

Day Ten- Someone You Don't Talk to as Much as You'd Like

My grandmother. She's gone.
I miss her more than anything... she's the one person I miss talking to everyday.

Wishes

I wish I could tell you everything I want to say.
I wish I could explain my dreams.

Fast

Life is going by fast, this week has gone by so quickly.
I love my job, I honestly do. The company is such a great company to work for... and the people are amazing. I can happily say that I love going to work in the morning and by the end of the day I don't hate my life.

Turning 21 in eight months!!!!!!! Woohoo!
Sorry, very random blog... I'm just super tired and maybe a little out of it.

Good night loves!

Faithful Place

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!
Faithful Place came in the mail today!!!!!!!!!
Can't wait to read it.

Casi Cielo

I love coffee way too much! It is the best invention of all time. Best friend working at Starbucks= awesome! :)
Thanks Rochelle!

Day Nine- Someone You Wish You Could Meet

I wish I could meet Tana French, J.K. Rowling, or Jonathan Tropper. They are my favorite writers, they are my inspiration. I wish I could learn and grasp how they write. It's so beautiful, I'm addicted to their words, to the feelings, to the characters. I want more than anything to write how they write... FLAWLESSLY.

The Likeness

"Now that's a concept that's always fascinated me: the real world. Only a very specific subset of people use the term, have you noticed? To me, it seems self-evident that everyone lives in the real world- we all breathe real oxygen, eat real food, the earth under our feet feels equally solid to all of us. But clearly these people have a far more tightly circumscribed definition of reality, one that I find deeply mysterious, and an almost pathologically intense need to bring others into line with that definition."

Blank

That scared me, I can't lose you.

Lazy

I have a really awesome quote from the book I'm reading, but I'm too tired to type it up.

e_e

Goal

I wanna be Natalie Portman skinny by this time next year. But I at least wanna have a good beach body by summer. Doing a shake diet... today was really hard.. but cigarettes helped.

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."
I wouldn't know... we'll see.

Ghosts

"The murdered do haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always—take any form—drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!"

Dreams

"I have dreamed in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind."

You are my dreams. Every night, you captivate my mind.

Shiver

"So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention, do you?
I know you don't listen to me
'Cause you say you see straight through me, don't you?

But on and on
From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me
I'll be waitin' in line, just to see if you care

Oh…
Did you want me to change?
But I'd change for good
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
I wanted to say…

Don't you shiver
Shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you

So you know how much I need you
But you never even see me, do you?
And is this my final chance of getting you?

And on and on
From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care, if you care."

Classic Camber

Bye

January...
:O

In the Woods

In the Woods, by Tana French is the most fantastic book I have EVER read. She is phenomenal.
I am about to start her second book, The Likeness. Jeez... she is my idol.

Reasons I love her writing:
1. She is Irish.
2. You instantly feel attached to her characters.
3. Her stories take place in Ireland.
4. Her ideas are fresh.
5. Her style is choppy.
6. She uses European lingo. Ex: "Bollocks, fags (cigarettes), bloody, bleeding, shite (my Irish grandparents say this all the time), torch (flashlight)..." I could go on and on about the slang used there.
7.The book's emotions bled into me the whole way through.

Please read it if you haven't already.

Vegas

"Gonna sell my car and go to Vegas
'Cause somebody told me
That's where dreams would be
Gonna sell my car and go to Vegas
Finally see my name upon the Palace marquis

Gonna quit my job and move to New York
'Cause somebody told me that's where
Dreamers should go
Gonna quit my job and move to New York
And tattoo my body with every Broadway show.

Listen up now honey, you're gonna be sorry
Can't get out from under a sky that is falling
And you say
No fame no money I'm nobody
The way I'm running has sure got me down
On my knees.
But next stop, Vegas please.
Gotta get to Vegas
Can you take me to Vegas?

Gonna sell my house and cross the border
'Cause somebody told me dreams live in Mexico
Gonna sell my house I got to lose ten pounds
And cross the border
And make sweet love upon the white sandy shore.

Listen up now honey, you're gonna be sorry
Can't get out from under a sky that is falling
And you say
No fame no money I'm nobody
The way I'm running has sure got me down
On my knees.
But next stop, Vegas please.

It's always just around the corner or you're
On your way to somewhere
That is bigger or better...
If you could only get there
It's never your fault you can't start your
Own winning streak
But I'd hate to lose you to the fortune you seek

I'm gonna lose my mind and sail the ocean.
'Cause somebody told me there were
Cherry blue skies
I'm gonna fix my mind with a final destination
And have a deep sleep upon a sweet dream
I'll never realize...no

Listen up now honey, you're gonna be sorry
Can't get out from under a sky that is falling
And you say
No fame no money I'm nobody
The way I'm running has sure got me down
On my knees.
Next stop, Vegas please.
Can you take me to Vegas? "

Day Eight- A Stranger

Today I saw a homeless man holding a sign that said "Why do I deserve this?" followed by a cross... on the bottom it said "God won't give anyone more than they can handle."
When I tried to give him money, he refused and said that he was just doing the Lords work.
He then asked me if I would pray with him. I did.
I prayed for this stranger, that he would be able to call somewhere home someday. I prayed for his well-being and his health. After we finished praying, he said his work was done for the day. He thanked me and walked away without a glance back.
I'll never forget this stranger.
He taught me that you can't stereotype everyone and also that some people, who may be less fortunate in many ways, have a lot to give and a lot more hope than most of us.

Outlander

"People disappear all the time. Ask any policeman. Better yet, ask a journalist. Disappearances are bread-and-butter to journalists.
Young girls run away from home. Young children stray away from their parents and are never seen again. Housewives reach the end of their tether and take the grocery money and a taxi to the station. International financiers change their names and vanish into the smoke of imported cigars.
Many of the lost will be found, eventually, dead or alive. Disappearances, after all, have explanations.
Usually."

Truth

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."

Quote

"I use to worry a lot about who I would be when I grew up. How much money I would make or if someday I would become some big deal. Sometimes the thing you most want doesn't happen. Sometimes the thing you never expect often does. You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. Then you meet one person and your life is changed forever."

From "Love and Other Drugs"

LOUD

My THOUGHTS are so loud these days...
Shhhh!

The Host

"It's not the face, but the expressions on it. It's not the voice, but what you say. It's not how you look like in that body, but the things you do with it. You are beautiful."

I love you.

99 Things...

ABOUT ME
1. first name: Camber
2. middle name: Elise
3. last name: Scanlon
4. zodiac sign: Scorpio
5. male or female: Female
6. age: 20
7. height: 5'8
8. lucky number: 3
9. eye color: Green/blue
10. hair color: Brown with a lot of blonde highlights.
11. long or short: Long.
12. marital status: Not married!
13. are you a health freak: No, I wish I was.
14. height: Lol... 5'8.
15. do you have a crush on someone: Yes.
16. do you like yourself: Yes.
17. piercings: Ears.
18. tattoos: A small 4 leaf clover on my shoulder.
19. righty or lefty: Right.
20. fav color: Green.
21. least fav color: Orange.

FIRSTS
22. first kiss: Haha, I don't even know.
23. first piercing: Ears.
24. first best friend: Caitlin.
25. first award: I don't know.
26. first sport: Softball... I guess. I was a dancer before that though.
27. first pet: Misha, my cat.
28. first vacation: San Francisco.
29. first car: Nissan Stanza... I hated it.
30. first crush: Haha, I don't know.

CURRENTLY
31. what time is it: 7:25pm
32. where are you: In my room.
33. wish: Won't tell. :)
34. about to: Read.
35. listening to: Nothing.
36. waiting for: Something eventful.
37. wearing: Pajamas.
38. annoyed about: My foots asleep. >:(
39. eating: Nothing.
40. drinking: Water.
FUTURE
41. want kids?: Someday.
42. want to get married?: Someday.
43. careers in mind?: I want to be a writer.
44. dream car?: How about just a car...

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
45. lips or eyes?: Lips.
46. hugs or kisses: Kisses.
47. shorter or taller: Taller.
48. tan skinned or light: I like both.
49. romantic or spontaneous: Both, more spontaneous.
50. dark or light hair: DARK.
51. built, fat, muscular, skinny, or normal: Normal. Shoulder and back muscles are the sexiest.
52. hook up or relationship: Relationship.
53. similar to you or different: Both can work. I usually like dating somebody different than me though.
54. trouble maker or hesitant: Hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER
55. kissed a stranger: No.
56. drank bubbles: No.
57. ate a crayon: No.
58. lost glasses/contacts: Yes.
59. climbed up a tree: Yes.
60. broken someone's heart: Yes.
61. been arrested: No.
62. turned someone down: Yes.
63. cried when someone died: Yes.
64. liked a friend as more than a friend: Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
65. yourself: Yes.
66. miracles: Yes.
67. ghosts: No, not really.
68. love at first sight: No.
69. santa clause: :)
70. heaven and hell: Yes.
71. kissing on the first date: Sometimes.
72. God: Yes.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
73. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes.
74. Are you happy? Yes.
75. Do you kiss on the first date? It depends.
76. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? No.
77. Last time you flossed? This morning
80. Flirt with your friends boyfriend or girlfriend? NEVER.
81. Cheat on a partner? No.
82. Whats under your bed? Boxes.
83. Last time you cleaned your toilet? My stepmom does that.
84. Ever sprout hairs on your chin? No.
85. Does the carpet match the curtains? LMAO... this survey is cracking me up.
86. Last kiss? I don't know.
87. Last booty call? No booty calls for me, thanks.
88. 7th text received? "I'm notorious for dating guys who are celebrity look alikes. Lol."
89. 4th missed call? Maaike.
90. Last comment received? On facebook? "Lol, of course."
91. Sleep with a stuffed animal? Yep. Haha.
92. Last time you cried? A couple weeks ago.
93. Pee in pools? Never.
94. Ever stolen something? Tic tacs when I was 7... mom caught me... never did it again. Lmao.
95. Ever drink milk from the carton? No. Ew. :(
96. Mad at anyone? No.
97. Ever rock a mullet? No.
98. Last tuxedo worn? I'm a girl. ;)
99. Last video game played: Some stupid game on my phone.