Earthquake

I just thought I'd throw it out there that I really love earthquakes, except when they cause destruction.

The earthquake was nice tonight.
That's it. :)

Time

I missed Alex a lot today. (Halloween/My 18th birthday, when we were just best friends--->)

However, it was a very productive day, I got of a lot of work done. I'm motivated to do so much lately... it's amazing. November needs to come sooner, that's all I have to say. I want my own place. If everything goes according to plan... Alex, Jessica, Charlie and I will be able to move in by November. I'm so excited, I can't wait to live with him. Jess and Charlie will be awesome roommates too. I just need to keep consistent at work and everything will go great.

I've been reading a book about spirituality, it's very interesting. It makes me want to write my book. Sigh. I'll get to it eventually. I really wish I didn't have to sleep, I'd have so much more time. We actually spend 1/3 of our life asleep. Ugh, that's so boring. I hate sleeping. I have so many things I want to do. I want to spend days with my friends, I want more time with Alex, I want to spend time with my family, I want alone time, I want to write, I want to read, I want to sing, I want to paint, I want to lounge around for a day, I want to travel. The reality is, there is not enough time or money for any of those. Life is frustrating.

Promise

This is for Alex:

I promise to love you everyday for the rest of forever. I adore you.

P.S. I hope this is quantifiable.

Souls?

I've been reading a spirituality book lately. It's very interesting... I don't know if I neccessarily believe in any of the stuff the author says... but it is definitely interesting to ponder. The book talks mostly about reincarnation and the existance of spirits all around us. So I found an interesting theory about dreams and I posted it on my dreams blog... check it out if you're interested.
secretsofthedreamer.blogspot.com

So life update:
Work: As far as Proactive goes, I am pretty much done working for them... my official last day is a week from tomorrow. My marketing job is going great. There are hard days, I'm not going to lie. Days where I get down, but I'm getting much better at motivating myself and figuring out where I want to go and what i want to do with my life. I am motivated to do great things in life. I need to set really high goals for myself, I know I can do it!
Relationship: Everything lately has been so great between Alex and I lately. We have our off days, but generally we are very happy and loving towards each other. We appreciate each others company much more since we split a few months ago. Anyways, he just makes me happy. I genuinely feel we're ready to take the next stpe and move in together. I'm praying that it works out by November.

And everything else is going okay. I have stressful days and good days. I've been worrying a lot more lately. But I'm on a track to make everything better. I can't wait to get my health back on track, I've been losing a lot of weight since I started this job, and I'm super excited and happy about it. Also I can't wait to actually find out what the constant pain in my lower back is and take care of it.

Well that's all for now...
Good night.

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -Eleanor Rooselvelt

Alex

My boyfriend continues to amaze me.
I had a bad day at work, and he had a bad day at school but he still treated me like a princess. He gave me a foot, hair, and back massage... he really loves me.
I love him too much, can't wait to move out with him and start our lives together.
November is our goal to be moved in together... maybe we can do it by our two year anniversary.

Sleep is a neccessity right now... I'm assuming if I keep writing I'll be passed out on top of the keyboard within the next couple minutes, lol.
Good night.

"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control."

Sorry

Sorry I haven't been writing lately.

Super busy at my office lately, I'll post a life update soon.
My boyfriend is amazing, just thought I'd throw that little tid-bit in there. :) Look how cute he is :) --->
I fall in love with him more and more everyday, and I am so blessed to have such a talented, driven, handsome, caring, and sweet boyfriend/best friend. Hmph, I love him, that's all. <3

I'll write soon loves...

Last

Well, this is my last post for May. It was a very productive month for me in general.

I AM SO READY FOR JUNE THOUGH, I missed summer too much.
Sorry my blogs are so short people, I lack content lately. I'm either too exhausted to write or too busy to write. I'm working on getting better about it though.

I have so many book ideas right now, I can't wait until I have more time so I can start writing more.

This last weekend was fun... Alex finally got home from Mexico. On Friday we went out to dinner at Sushi Deli... yum! :) On Saturday we went to the beach in the afternoon and spent the night together. And on Sunday he took me to see Sex and the City 2, which ended up being really bad in my opinion... I was so disappointed. Oh well, I guess you can't expect a show with 4 women age range from 43-52 to be entertaining in that aspect anymore. That movie pretty much ruined the whole series for me. But Alex actually came along and persevered through it. That's why I love him, he tolerates my ridiculous habits... like watching disgustingly girly chick flicks. Bahaha.

That's pretty much it. Good bye May, hello June!

Frustration

I'm so pissed right now. Do you not care that the reason I am working my ass off is so that we can have a better relationship? The least you could do is give me some of your precious fucking time... after you agreed to it already. It's not like I'm even around that fucking often, becauser I'm at work all the time. I hate it when people don't follow through with me. I'm so over this shit. You're cocky, arrogant, and selfish... and to be honest if it continues, I don't want you in my life.

Happy

Alex is home.
<3333333333

"Within you I lose myself... without you I find myself wanting to be lost again."

Absence

This is really getting obnoxious, but I'm going to say it again... I miss Alex like crazy. I can't wait for him to get home on Friday, I feel like I'm going insane. I need my boyfriend back.
Lol.

I don't have enough time in the day to do everything I need to do, I really want to start time managing more effectively... especially with this new job. I am determined to succeed in this job. I have a lot of goals and the people that work there really inspire me to achieve them.

I don't know what else to write about, for once.

I can't wait for my life to settle down.

Thoughts

I've been so sad the last few days. Alex is still in Mexico... he's probably staying until Friday. So I'm super bummed. Work is good, I've been so busy, it's ridiculous. I went out to dinner with my co-workers tonight. That was nice. They're all some of the best people I've met.

Here-- quick update with some of my most common thoughts. (I'm exhausted)
-Full time jobs are over-whelming.
-I REALLY want to move out.
-My family and I have been getting along better.
-I can't wait for SATC2 to come out.
-I have no time to write right now.
-I miss Alex tremendously when he is away like this.
-I think Sandra Bullock is an amazing woman.
-My feet hurt constantly lately.
-I miss my church. (Haven't been the last couple weeks)
-I need to stop complaining.
-I want to reach my goals.

Random, I know. Sorry.
Good night!

Love

I miss Alex too much right now. It's almost unbearable.

I'm sad... can't wait for him to get back.

Just in case you didn't know... this is the love of my life....

Attached

Alex is in Mexicali for the next few days visiting his family, good thing I have this new job so I can keep myself busy. I miss him already, I'm ridiculously attached to him. Today is our year and a half anniversary, if you don't count the break-ups (we don't). I just can't wait until we can move out together, it is going to make my life so much easier. I want my life to fast-forward a little.

I need to get back into writing.

Deprived... P.S.

Sleep, deprived, stressed, sad PANDA= me.
bahahaha, no but really.
Bedtime.

Deprived

I've been working so much lately, it is truly exhausting. But, I am making really good money.

Alex and I have been together a year and a half as of tomorrow. He took me on a nice date tonight. Working full time makes me sad because I never get to see him anymore. I can't wait until we have our own place, it will make everything so much easier. I truly do not have the energy to write again tonight. Maybe I'll do a better update tomorrow, I'm sleep deprived.

Exhaustion

I literally don't have the energy to type more than these two sentences. I'll put an update on what's going on with me soon.

Busy

Pretty eventful day today. After work, Alex and I went to the beach and then played tennis. It was great I miss that. I hope I get to enjoy the beaches a lot this summer. There's no point in living in San Diego if you don't take advantage of the glorious beaches here.

In other news, my back pain continues to drone on... I feel like it's taken permanent root in my body. I need more prayers.

This week is going to be very busy for me. I hope I can handle it all.

I really enjoy my new job, I can't wait to start living on my own. I love my parents and appreciate all they have done for me. But I need to launch myself out there and gain some independence.

Just realized this blog entry has no structure... just me babbling on. Sorry everyone, I'm a little tired today.



"Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity." -Albert Einstein

Friends

I miss this...

Beneath the Sheets

"Where my day starts. And where my day ends. Where I let my imagination run wild. With or without a book. Where dreams are conjured - awake or otherwise. Where people are missed; where tears are shed. Where I lie and ponder the big or small things in life. But most importantly, beneath the sheets is where I find comfort and where my innermost self is most apparent. My resting place, my safe haven."

P.S.

I want to watch Gone With the Wind soon.

It is my favorite movie of all time.