One Person

"I use to worry a lot about who I would be when I grew up. How much money I would make or if someday I would become some big deal. Sometimes the thing you most want doesn't happen. Sometimes the thing you never expect often does. You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. Then you meet one person and your life is changed forever."

Butterflies...

Something happened today that gave me butterflies. <3
Maybe he finally understands.

Three Days...

Only three days left until I'm 21!
:D

Oops... I mean four days, wishful thinking.

Regret...

“Let me tell you a few things about regret...There is no end to it. You cannot find the beginning of the chain that brought us from there to here. Should you regret the whole chain, and the air in between, or each link separately as if you could uncouple them? Do you regret the beginning which ended so badly, or just the ending itself?”

I want to live without regret.

Attainable

I have hope.
Maybe what I want the most is actually attainable. Sometimes your heart just makes choices for you. I can't control what I feel, sometimes you just know in your heart and soul that something is right.

He is right for me... in every way, shape, and form.

Oy

I'm in so much pain. :'(

Yay

I'm so excited for my birthday! HAPPY HOUR... HERE I COME!
:)

:)

Fantastic weekend.
<333

Happy

Tonight's going to be a good night.
<3

Countdown (2011)

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

TEN things you wish you could say to ten different people right now:

1 . I just want you to be okay so that I can move on with my life, I can't worry about you anymore.
2 . I am so proud of the person you have become, you are a better version of yourself. I would be completely lost without you in my life.
3 . It's ridiculous how much I feel the need to be around you. You are like a magnet pulling me to you.
4 . I want to make you proud. I wish we got along better.
5 . Karma.
6 . I hope you are always in my life.
7 . Remember those nights at the bay?
8 . I only want the best for you. I am sorry I haven't been the best person to you. I love you more than anything.
9 . I am so grateful that you came into my life. You are the person I want to become.
10 . Thank you for making an effort.

NINE things about yourself :

1 . I am very pale.
2 . I love Indie music.
3 . I have NO tolerance for people that do drugs. You're not welcome in my life if you do.
4 . Writing is my escape.
5 . I'm deathly afraid of moths. (Not kidding)
6 . I love my job.
7 . There's not enough time for me to do all of the things I need to do.
8 . I am confident with the type of person I am, but self-conscious about my appearance.
9 . I only sing when I'm happy.

EIGHT ways to win your heart , in no particular order :

1 . Have a great sense of humor.
2 . The little things matter the most.
3 . Be a devoted Christian.
4 . Have direction.
5 . Sing to me.
6 . Prove that you're worth my time.
7 . Have strong family values.
8 . And being tall, dark, and handsome doesn't hurt. :)

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot, in no particular order :

1 . Worry for my Mom.
2 . Moving out.
3 . Work.
4 . Love.
5 . The future.
6 . Family.
7 . Friends.

SIX things you do before you fall asleep :

1 . Wash my face.
2 . Brush my teeth.
3 . Internet.
4 . Write a blog or write parts of my book.
5 . Watch TV.
6 . Set my alarm.

FIVE people who mean a lot to you :

1 . Jazmine.
2 . Sidd.
3 . Alex.
4 . Rochelle.
5 . Family.

FOUR things you’re wearing right now :

1 . Pajama bottoms.
2 . Tank top.
3 . Glasses.
4 . Ring.

THREE songs that you listen to often :

1 . "Between the Lines" by Sara Bareilles.
2 . "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People.
3 . "Lost" by Coldplay.

TWO things you want to do before you die :

1 . Be successful.
2 . Get married and have children.

ONE confession :

1 . I push people away, even when I need them.

TRUTHS as of this moment in your life :::

1 . Truthfully … I need to be more respectful and responsible.
2 . Truthfully … When I fall in love, I fall hard.
3 . Truthfully … I am too emotionally damaged to feel anything other than numb when I am hurt.
4 . Truthfully … I wish my Mom would understand where I am coming from.
5 . Truthfully … I'm not ready to settle down.
6 . Truthfully … I am so grateful.
7 . Truthfully … I am much more mature than others my age.
8 . Truthfully … If you lose my trust, it will take a long time to regain it.

Work

My job is my way to get away from the stress of my life. I am so thankful to work with the people at my job, they all have the kindest hearts. It's amazing that for the first time in my life I've found a job that I truly love. I've been working so much lately, and I don't mind at all. However, I am looking forward to my vacation at the end of the month. It will be nice to have a few days to just relax and celebrate my 21st birthday. :)

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

My sister. I love her more than anything.

Reality

Last night was the first dream I can remember having in three months. And of course, it was the most intense dream I have ever had. I dreamed that he felt everything for me that I felt for him and for once in my life, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. However, I had to wake up and realize that he is as far away from me as he has always been and will probably never want what I want.

Wake up & enjoy a fresh dose of reality.

Love, Hopes, and Dreams...

If only happily ever after came in a bottle...

Costume

I lied... I'm not making my Halloween costume, I decided to buy it. Haha.
Vampire. I'm old-school.
It's different... it lights up. :) Bar-hopping in PB & Downtown the whole night.... I love that my birthday is on Halloween.

Shattered Pieces

It rained so much today and I am so happy. It was such a perfect day out.

I am so much more content with my life lately. I am finding happiness in the simplest things. I don't feel numb anymore, and it's so relieving. I am so blessed to live the life that I live and I thank God for it everyday. I have had so many struggles the past few years, but I finally feel like I am going to be able to get a grip on everything bad that has happened and let it go. I have to come to terms with my past and realize that I can't control everything and also come to terms with the fact that I can not help somebody who is not willing to be helped. What I can do, however, is cause awareness and prevent it from happening to somebody else. I don't ever want anybody to go through the struggles that I go through everyday. I don't want anybody to carry such a heavy burden and not be able to help somebody they love. My heart is heavy, but there is only so much I can do until I have to look around at the shattered pieces, pick them all up, and put them together again. That is what I am doing, I am putting myself together again.

October

Oh, my beautiful October is here...
Saw rain and felt cold for the first time in months. Lol. <333