Snow

I need someone to go to Big Bear with me this weekend. :(
Won four tickets to go snow-boarding/skiing. Don't have a way up there.

Cold

I keep secrets to myself.
I'm full of hidden thoughts, desires, and wonders.
My dreams, most importantly, will never escape my mind.

Sometimes, at night, I wonder why I live the way I do. Why do I not tell people the things that I want the most? Why am I so secretive? Why am I so cold? Why am I so bitter?
The answer will NOT make sense to most people: I want to live my life with some poetic edge to it. I don't even know how to explain what that means to anyone. I just know that I have certain concepts that I find profoundly beautiful and I don't want them ever taken away. I also think that I enjoy living my life with a certain amount of drama. Most of the time, I don't want to know what is going to happen next. I need to live in my mind, away from everyone else. I want my secrets.

But then again, there is nothing I want more than for you to discover everything about me.... in your own good time.

Warm

I wish you I was in Hawaii right now.
Mmmmm.

Day Ten- Someone You Don't Talk to as Much as You'd Like

My grandmother. She's gone.
I miss her more than anything... she's the one person I miss talking to everyday.

Wishes

I wish I could tell you everything I want to say.
I wish I could explain my dreams.

Fast

Life is going by fast, this week has gone by so quickly.
I love my job, I honestly do. The company is such a great company to work for... and the people are amazing. I can happily say that I love going to work in the morning and by the end of the day I don't hate my life.

Turning 21 in eight months!!!!!!! Woohoo!
Sorry, very random blog... I'm just super tired and maybe a little out of it.

Good night loves!

Faithful Place

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!
Faithful Place came in the mail today!!!!!!!!!
Can't wait to read it.

Casi Cielo

I love coffee way too much! It is the best invention of all time. Best friend working at Starbucks= awesome! :)
Thanks Rochelle!

Day Nine- Someone You Wish You Could Meet

I wish I could meet Tana French, J.K. Rowling, or Jonathan Tropper. They are my favorite writers, they are my inspiration. I wish I could learn and grasp how they write. It's so beautiful, I'm addicted to their words, to the feelings, to the characters. I want more than anything to write how they write... FLAWLESSLY.

The Likeness

"Now that's a concept that's always fascinated me: the real world. Only a very specific subset of people use the term, have you noticed? To me, it seems self-evident that everyone lives in the real world- we all breathe real oxygen, eat real food, the earth under our feet feels equally solid to all of us. But clearly these people have a far more tightly circumscribed definition of reality, one that I find deeply mysterious, and an almost pathologically intense need to bring others into line with that definition."

Blank

That scared me, I can't lose you.

Lazy

I have a really awesome quote from the book I'm reading, but I'm too tired to type it up.

e_e

Goal

I wanna be Natalie Portman skinny by this time next year. But I at least wanna have a good beach body by summer. Doing a shake diet... today was really hard.. but cigarettes helped.

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."
I wouldn't know... we'll see.

Ghosts

"The murdered do haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always—take any form—drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!"

Dreams

"I have dreamed in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind."

You are my dreams. Every night, you captivate my mind.

Shiver

"So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention, do you?
I know you don't listen to me
'Cause you say you see straight through me, don't you?

But on and on
From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me
I'll be waitin' in line, just to see if you care

Oh…
Did you want me to change?
But I'd change for good
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
I wanted to say…

Don't you shiver
Shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you

So you know how much I need you
But you never even see me, do you?
And is this my final chance of getting you?

And on and on
From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care, if you care."